My Goal, My Dream

Ah, the Mustang. A car that elicits hatred from my wife and drooling from me. Yet, tonight, my wife uttered those magic words: "You can get a Mustang." I know she hates them and views them as trashy ("Arkansas," in her words) and impractical. I don't necessarily agree with the trashy, though I won't argue against the fact that owning a Mustang is probably the pinnacle of many a good ol' boy's life. I also see that it's an impractical car, but come on! It's a Mustang and it's also mostly a guy thing. Oh well. Anyway, my point is that Wanda gave me the go-ahead to get one of these if I wanted to; she will no longer (verbally) judge me for wanting to have one.

Under one condition:

That I drop about fifty-five pounds from my fluffy frame and get down to 180 pounds. And I also have to stay at that weight. As far as how long I need to remain at that weight is concerned, we've decided on six months for now. I suppose we'll have to see how well I do in my weight loss program and how much I've actually changed my diet and exercise practices. I mean, I'm not going to crash-diet and lose half of the weight by next week! No, this is something that's going to take me a while and that's okay. Weight has become a problem of mine in the past few years and I think something solid like this is a good goal for me to have. Nevermind that the thought of having a heart attack in ten years and dying at thirty-five doesn't seem to motivate me to watch what I eat and exercise. No, it takes the thought of owning a car that gets me ready to jump back on the moderation train with gusto. Oh well, I suppose it's progress.

And It Shall Be Your Downfall

After waking this morning around eleven and being greeted with a pounding headache I think I'm finally ready to accept that I'm addicted to caffeine. For a long time I've said that I'm not addicted to it and could quit with no problem, cold turkey. Well, I still think I could quit, but there would most definitely be problems.

Here's my standard caffeine day:
-8:00 AM: mug of homemade coffee as I start my workday.
-10:30 AM: The first break of the day, I'll either pull a Monster energy drink from my bag, go to Walgreens and buy one (or a soda: Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, Diet Mountain Dew (if you have a keen eye you may see another problem which may soon lead to a myriad of problems from motor-skill difficulties to cancer of some unknown organ, but that's for another blog)), or I'll hit up one of the coffee shops in the area: Starbucks, The Coffee House, or Lincoln Espresso.
1:30 PM: Lunchtime, which comes with a soda from home. Lately, it's been Diet Sunkist.
2:30 PM or 3:00 PM: The afternoon break. I just might buy another soda or simply be content with water. Either way, I have to take frequent pee breaks. Sometimes it feels like my bladder is the size of a golf ball (too much information?).
5:30-6:00 PM: I'm home now, so I may just drink another soda with supper (and sometimes *gasp!* a beer. Not that that has anything to do with caffeine, unless you're one of those idiots who buys the whole caffeinated alcohol thing, "it won't make me drunk, it'll give me energy!" Again, something for another blog that isn't entirely encased in parentheses).

Really, it doesn't seem like I drink that much caffeine, but I think I do. I don't really notice until the weekends when I sleep in and then wake up with the aforementioned headache. I think I could quit, but it would be a little agonizing. But, why should I quit? So what if I'm a junkie, part of the largest drug addiction in the world. At least it's not crack or heroine!