Thursday, November 27, 2008

Turkey Day

Yes, it's Turkey Day. The holiday where you can eat more desserts because your bake-savvy relatives didn't spend all their money on presents! The holiday that all department stores and Walgreens seem to not care about anymore. Seriously, right after Halloween, all the stores put up their Christmas crap and totally forget about Thanksgiving. I think that's extremely disrespectful! About the only stores that care about Thanksgiving are grocery stores because (since no one is buying presents, if you follow my previous line of reasoning) everyone is spending their extra cash on ingredients for desserts! In essence, Thanksgiving is now a ploy by the food industry to make us fat, just as Christmas is a ploy to turn us all into materialistic goons. I suppose this would mean that grocery stores disrespect Christmas . . . Actually, they don't. Because Christmas is also about driving people into debt. The grocery stores know that people are spending most of their money on presents, but they also know that these people still want to buy tons of food, too! Therefore, grocery stores facilitate and encourage deficit spending by offering so many different products at a reduced price that helpless Americans can't resist buying more than is needed! I'm sure the average American has put most of their ridiculous Christmas presents on credit cards and will also put the grocery bill on a credit card so they can save the meager amount of cash that is available for utilities or a car payment. Really, holidays are about fostering unhealthy habits, be they spending money or eating too much. Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Grand Achievement!

Hooray! I finished the main storyline in Grand Theft Auto IV tonight! I'm still only about 75% done with the game, with plenty of side-achievements and sundry remaining. This is a rare occurence for me, though. I usually don't finish most of the games that I start. So there you go.


P.S. In my previous post I failed to mention the one football video game that I'm actually good at: Tecmo Super Bowl for the NES. This game will live on forever, a god among men. A game where 350 yards rushing in a single game is a mere pittance and six or seven passing touchdowns is something to scoff at. Ah, those were the days, sitting in Grandpa and Grandma Johnson's basement over Thanksgiving or Christmas, duking it out with my cousins. Long live Tecmo Super Bowl!

You Sure Aren't Madden Nation Material

I love football. I've been a fan as long as I can remember. I recall, back in elementary school as a wee towhead, spacing out during social studies, I'd be drawing helmets and coming up with clever mascots and logos (à la the USFL) such as the Chicago Great Danes (after my best friend Dane Johnson). Of course, as most of my friends and family know, I've been a Miami Dolphins fan throughout my football life. That affinity sprang to life after my Mom bought me a Starting Lineup figurine of Dan Marino. A love of the Nebraska Cornhuskers has naturally followed as I'm a citizen of the great state of Nebraska. So, throughout the years I've cultivated a healthy, non-fanatical love of the game of football. Although, I do thoroughly enjoy spending countless hours reading about the history of teams and players and viewing career statistics and records.

Anyway, I've lost track of my original point (which I don't think I've even made previous to now), which is that although I love football, I'm pretty terrible at football video games. You would think that a love of football and of video games I would be pretty good at football video games. Not so. Madden Nation material I am not. I can't even beat the computer! I can't imagine how paltry I would be against human competition. Usually, I'll get really excited after a watching a good game and I'll decide to try my hand on Madden 08 or NCAA 07. I may win a game or two, but usually I'll be getting beat and decide to turn the game off. Sigh. Did I forget to mention that I'm a poor sport, too? Oh well, sometimes you just have to admit that some things you're good at, and some things you're not.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

And It Shall Be Your Downfall

After waking this morning around eleven and being greeted with a pounding headache I think I'm finally ready to accept that I'm addicted to caffeine. For a long time I've said that I'm not addicted to it and could quit with no problem, cold turkey. Well, I still think I could quit, but there would most definitely be problems.

Here's my standard caffeine day:
-8:00 AM: mug of homemade coffee as I start my workday.
-10:30 AM: The first break of the day, I'll either pull a Monster energy drink from my bag, go to Walgreens and buy one (or a soda: Diet Coke, Diet Pepsi, Diet Mountain Dew (if you have a keen eye you may see another problem which may soon lead to a myriad of problems from motor-skill difficulties to cancer of some unknown organ, but that's for another blog)), or I'll hit up one of the coffee shops in the area: Starbucks, The Coffee House, or Lincoln Espresso.
1:30 PM: Lunchtime, which comes with a soda from home. Lately, it's been Diet Sunkist.
2:30 PM or 3:00 PM: The afternoon break. I just might buy another soda or simply be content with water. Either way, I have to take frequent pee breaks. Sometimes it feels like my bladder is the size of a golf ball (too much information?).
5:30-6:00 PM: I'm home now, so I may just drink another soda with supper (and sometimes *gasp!* a beer. Not that that has anything to do with caffeine, unless you're one of those idiots who buys the whole caffeinated alcohol thing, "it won't make me drunk, it'll give me energy!" Again, something for another blog that isn't entirely encased in parentheses).

Really, it doesn't seem like I drink that much caffeine, but I think I do. I don't really notice until the weekends when I sleep in and then wake up with the aforementioned headache. I think I could quit, but it would be a little agonizing. But, why should I quit? So what if I'm a junkie, part of the largest drug addiction in the world. At least it's not crack or heroine!

Friday, November 21, 2008

Here I Am Again . . . On A Blog.

Well, I've decided to start an official blog here at Yes, I know there have been many a sloppy and ranting mess on MySpace and pitiful notes on Facebook, but this is the real, official, no holds barred deal. I'm not sure what I'm going to write about, but I know I'd like to write something. Anything, really. I recently tried (and failed) to write a blog on MySpace about my favorite college football teams from each state. I suppose it was an attempt to spur some words to fall from my brain and through my fingers onto ye olde webbe. Of course, as in most of my attempts at anything, I didn't follow through and now that blog sits amidst the cyber dust bunnies. I'll start simple, maybe with a list or two.

Random (or are they?) things I appreciate:

-The Miami Dolphins
-Caffeine in general
-Board games
-the Grand Theft Auto game franchise

Terrible, terrible songs that I hear over and over again at work:

-These Days by Bardot
-Summer Sunshine by The Corrs
-Countless others I haven't bothered to figure out the names for.

I'm amazed that these songs haven't triggered someone to just snap and start killing people. They're so deeply cheesified and uber girly-pop that I just want to scream when I hear them! But, they're also pretty dang catchy . . . and that just makes me more crazy. Ugh. It doesn't help when I sit right underneath the damn muzak speaker in the cubicle jungle.